Dark Night

It is a dark night, it is a dark outside. As I was sitting in this living room, waiting for this tired eyes with a dark night accompany me. Several things played in my mind and keep on approaching this emotion. These has something to do with my life and future. First of all, I'm writing this because I feel this is the right section or medium for me to express everything I felt about every aspects. I would like to apologize to whom ever that might think I'm expressing this or saying this to them.

I'm such a person who loves making jokes. I love to laugh and laugh and keep on laugh. I love to be outspoken but not at all time, I still have the sensitivity aspect. Well, I know I am not a good person, a good girl or a good lover. I'm just being me. I'm just expressing my character even though I know sometimes or most of the time I have hurt others feeling. And, I'm SORRY for that.

But, tonight, I would like to say about someone that I really love the most, someone that I really care about and perhaps someone that I intend to live and die with.

Dear Lover,

I never want to blame you or makes you feel awful. No, I didn't mean to.
I never want to compare you with somebody else. No, I didn't mean to.
I never want to make you feel sad or regret of what have you done. No, I didn't mean to.
I want you to know that I will always loves you and cares for you. Always.

But, don't you know what I expected from you? A LOVE. That's about it. I need LOVE from you because I believe that once the LOVE is developed, you will appreciate me and so do I. I know my working schedule is sometimes over the line, like crazy when I don't have so much time to spend with you. I know I always come back home late and I don't have so much time to text you. I don't have many choices, sweetheart. There are time that I will be so damn busy especially when it is peak time for roadshows and events. But that does not mean I forget about you, that does not mean I cheated on you, that does not mean I played or even flirt with another man. I always remember you, sweetheart.

Therefore, I need you immediately when I know that is the only time I will have. It's not that I push you, makes you stress out with me or acting so annoying. Definitely, no. Yes, I felt disapointed when everytime you failed to fill my needs. Even though with relevant excuses. That does not mean I hate you or put a blame on you.

It is because I miss you. Thinking how much time I have missed to spend with you and not all of our plans achieved. You still owe me a picnic at the lake.

I'm giving you a space now, for you to think it wisely what will happened to you, me, us and our relationship. I'm giving you time so that you could plan or changed. Again, this doesn't mean I hate you. Like I told you before, I could have left you or dumb you if I wanted to. But, that's not what I dreamed about.

I want you to know... You will always be my sweetheart, my lover, my darling...
I Love You ~


Cordially,
A Lover