Empty April

Don't know where should I start...
It happened in a blink of an eye... Like you never expect it, like you never imagine it, like you never plan it, like you never want it... Everything seems doesn't fall into the right place... My tears were falling down and crash like a glass... My feeling was pulled away to the sea, deep down to the sea... I am not able to catch it back... I wrote this words to express my feeling and to tell you what had happened...

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Here I am...
Sitting in this dark space...
I am not planned to ruin it...
I am not planned to burn it...
I am not planned to demand...

Nor, I am not planned to stand higher...
I am not planned to be above with the moon...
I want to feel like what normal people do...
I want to be loved as many couples do...
I want the life that I cannot have with another person like you...
I just want it from the only one person I loved...
I want the best from a man that I loved...

Here I am...
Sitting in this dark space...
I remembered the first day we met...
I remembered the first laughed we had...
I remembered the first word we said...
I remembered our first date...
I remembered the first time we stared at each other...
I remembered the first hold that you made...
I remembered the first cuddle that you gave...
I remembered the first kiss that we had...
I remembered it all...

Here I am...
Looking at her reflection in mirror...
I remembered the first argument we had...
I remembered the first tears...
I remembered the first 'sorry' word we said...
I remembered it all...

So here I am again...
Waiting for the test to end...
Here I am, sitting in this room...
Just sit and do nothing...
My mind keeps moving, round and round again...
And I think I want to be alone...
So, please understand if I don't answer the phone...
I promised I will do nothing...
I will just sit and stare at the walls...
Until I can see nothing at all...

I sat here... Only to remember what had happened...

I sat here... Only to open my eyes of every changes we have made...
I sat here... Only to let these tears falling down...

And it reminds me of the day...
The day she ran away...
The day she sat silently...
The day she isolate herself...
She will find it in her soul...

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