The Thing

I couldn't tell you... I... I just can't... I'm hiding away from you because I'm not ready... All this while,I've keep myself shut down mode because I know I can handle it... But, there are some things that I cannot convey through conversation...Writing would be the best, to tell you these things...

1. I don't like when you accused me for something that i didn't do. Asking me that will be fine for me because I can answer you, but when I said "No, I didn't" I really mean it. And you should not said "but, your voice was like you're mad..." That will make it worst. So, please stop asking me again because you will make me feel really angry. This is like what had happened between us now. I became mad at you because you keep asking me! And I cannot hold my anger anymore and my words to you became uncontrolled. You knew how I don't want to react harshly...especially to you...

2. Don't expect me to sent report to you on every single time. I always tell you where do I want to go, what I want to do, whether I am busy or not... So, you should put this on your mind... Stop being like a captain or an army, expecting a full report every day... Yes, I am your lover but I'm not a child... I know I didn't inform you when I'm back at office but it doesn't mean that I purposely put you in trouble. I want to but right after I arrived at office, I complete my prayer. Then,I got some stuffs to settle on. How do you expect me to SMS you while I'm busy finishing something? And by the time you called, I was having and informal discussion with my colleagues. How do you expect me to talk sweetly to you?

3. Stop blaming me. The way you sent your SMS to me was like you put a blame on me because not telling you everything and because I talked to you like I'm mad. How do expect me to read your SMS with a positive reaction? You told me you waited for me until you felt asleep. Was that my fault of making you wait until asleep? Surely, I'm not satisfied with this... You felt sad because I was mad at you. But have you ever think how sad I was when you do this to me? Treat me this way? Should I call you at that time letting you hear my cried? No... I was totally sad because it seems like my fault...everything! The only thing I can do was cried... I cried as much as I can just to release it... But, you never know...